How Do You Measure A Year in the Life?

It's time now- to sing out,

Though the story never ends,

Let's celebrate,

Remember a year in the life of friends!

-Rent: Seasons of Love

Thankfully midterms are over, marking the halfway point of the school year. It's a wonderful thought that school is almost over, but it's also sad to think about the different paths we will all take. I realized at the start of the year that I will never see some of my friends again after graduation, but I kept that thought surpressed. However, now that the year is already half gone, the realization has bubbled to the surface and hit me like a truck crashing into a brick wall. I am going to attempt to hold on to some of my dearest friends, but I know deep down that an attempt as such is futile for everyone. I still don't comprehend how my to-be college friends will ultimately be my friends for life. Shouldn't my friends of 12+ years have that privilege? Apparently not, according to the ways of the universe. It's hard to imagine having different friends, especially different core friends. But that's what college does, ultimately. It forces you to be independent and self-reliant as it teaches you how to make it in the real world... but I don't want that. I feel far from being that independent and not relying on my friends and family for guidance. Sure, that freedom will be great. But I'm just not ready for it completely yet.

Well, before I can think about life at college, I need to choose which college first. What college I attend will help decide what job I'm going to get. What job I'm going get determines everything. Choosing one college over another affects my entire future: jobs, friends, and even marraige. It's a huge decision to make, one in which I have no idea what to do. I'm torn between two colleges, and in the end, the decision can only be made by me.

It feels like the weight of the world is balanching on my shoulders, and I'm sure most other seniors feel the same way right about now. I thank midterms for adding all kinds of stress on me, directly and indirectly.